Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you had me at cake vodka
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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