Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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