The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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