i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
