that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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