Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
