i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
