im about as happy as oj after his trial
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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