But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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