But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i drank out of a bidet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
