nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
