I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
