i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
