I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You smell like stripper and shame
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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