Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He did a backflip because drugs
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
