Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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