The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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