Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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