so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
