Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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