For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
