Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I bet he comes in French.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
