I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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