Acid is not a monday night drug
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
