I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
