I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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