yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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