I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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