You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
