My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
