I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
