I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
