All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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