So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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