i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
