I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
