you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
