Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
