break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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