after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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