and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
