In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
