Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
