Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
