From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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