So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
