i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
