how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
