Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
