If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
